Try to be professional when providing professional services

Every time I read about this case I laugh out loud. But then I have to be careful because if someone hears me laughing out loud and I show them what is making me laugh I don’t want to end up offending someone. Since this is a legal matter and all the information is a matter of public record, I’ll let Staci Zaretsky of Above the Law introduce this one. Be forewarned, the attorney at the center of circus was not found to be acting a very professional matter, at least not for most workplaces.

Generally, when opposing counsel tells you to “eat a bowl of dicks,” you know that your settlement talks are going nowhere fast. When opposing counsel later informs you that he’s going to “let the long dick of the law f*ck [your client],” then you know that something may be amiss. When opposing counsel then begins to refer to you as a “cumstain” and a “limp dick mother f*cker,” you may realize that your settlement talks have gone completely off the rails. When opposing counsel threatens to “water board each one of [your client’s] trolls who show up for depo without any mercy whatsoever,” and claims that he “know[s] where you live,” you know it’s time to file ex parte with a judge to get some much-needed relief.

This is what happened in a recent dispute between Christopher Hook, a plaintiffs’ lawyer in California, and a legal team at Sheppard Mullin led by partner Peter Klee. The matter itself is a simple insurance dispute over about $200,000, but Hook’s conduct has turned it into a complete circus sideshow. Sheppard Mullin represents Allstate and Hook represents a couple trying to fight the company for an ever-increasing amount of funds, into the millions.

The emails sent in the dispute read like a George Carlin monologue. Read Zaretsky’s full article for some of the best bits, including what the judge presiding over the matter had to say about it.